Bed Rest Checklist with a toddler

I entered this second round of bed rest with a 15 month old in tow.  It is going to be vastly different from the first time, when I filled my time with craft and organising files. I now have a baby I’ve fought hard for and I desperately don’t want to lose any time with her. She’s had been walking a few months and is starting to talk. Such a personality starting to blossom.  In anticipation of another high risk pregnancy, we decided to move closer to family who could help. So here is my top tips for surviving happily and healthily, while still getting to be a mum to a gorgeous little girl.

Bed rest checklist

Roster of helpers – If you are that lucky. I have 3 sisters, 2 parents, 2 in-laws and a partner all pulling this pregnancy through. With a roster, they all know when to be here, so there’s not 5 people turning up at once asking if there’s anything they can do. AND they can plan the rest of their day around the enormous amount of time they are giving up to be here.

Litres of water and snacks  – I was so thirsty and hungry for days, waiting for someone to finish feeding, cleaning, dressing the toddler . Once I had supplies set up by the bed, I could help myself and put less stress on the ‘staff’.

Tissues – Toddlers are messy! So am I for that matter, I just seem to need one all the time. Normally I wouldn’t be so 'disposable society', but I am making a few exceptions at the moment.

Small Bin – To put messy toddler/bedrest momma by-products in.

Cosmetics – Once it’s by the bed, it’s there for good. Helps you to maintain some level of dignity! Hair brush , dental floss, moisturiser, facial wipes, mirror, tweezers, nail clippers, nail polish remover, nail polish are top tips.

Communication – Phones to contact the outside world,  for fun or in emergency.

Activities – Your not sick! Your alive and well. Don’t waste time away with droll TV full of ads. Read books, do puzzles, craft, knit -  all those activities you just never had time for before. I’d be lost without a lap top and hard drive. I’m making a movie from the footage taken from our last holiday.

Remotes – for TV, DVD, aircon, stereo.

Power board – To power the life of a ‘bed rester’. Phone and camera chargers, fans/heaters, light. I’m lucky enough to have a hospital bed rented at home that needs powering!

Purse – Credit cards for online shopping! Spare change to give helpers to get supplies.

Stationary – Pens, diary, scrap paper/notebook

Medicine, nutrients – So you don’t forget to take it.

Bed side light – Helps to see!

Climate control – For changes in weather. I just use a doona if I’m cold, but last bed rest was in summer.... my guilt over air con was forgotten! Having EVERY body surface touching a bed, or other parts of your body gets pretty sticky and hot.

Socks/slippers  for cold feet - Not moving makes me cold.

Pressure socks to stop blood clots – I had leg pumps on 24hours a day in Bed Rest 1but at home have pressure socks to minimise the risk - it's a real risk, don't get slack!

Photos – I put of the scan print outs and photos of my last pregnancy when I  actually made it far enough to get out of bed occasionally. I want to get there this time too!


Bill paying -  Unfortunately the bills still come rolling in. If you have as much information with you, you won't fall behind.

Spare sheets - They get so dirty when you eat. live, entertain and sleep in them.

Looking after a toddler when mum is on bed rest

Medicine for the toddler – I like Bruer homeopathic brand for teething and other toddler ailments. I got the little case of potions moves close to the bed so I can still look after her health myself.

Box of bribes – I’ve got her favourite books, toys, drawing stuff, jigsaws, some socks, bibs, face clothes under the bed, so I can seduce her into spending quality time with me as she whizzes past.

Anything in a highchair -  Eating, drawing, play dough, painting, jigsaws. Someone can put the high chair beside the bed and trap them in so they can’t escape!

Drawing – I have a bag with paper, crayons, and paint close by.  I skip the paint if she’s not in the high chair though!

Reading books – We read the same books over and over and over again, laying in bed cuddling. It’s just divine!

Jigsaws – She’s not the greatest fan, but it’s a great 5 minute activity before she gets frustrated and throws it. Then I need someone else to pick it up.

Practicing cuddles – I get so many more cuddles now. It’s fabulous. Some kisses and a bit of pretending to sleep. Must be copying my horizontal position....

‘Putting back’ – At the moment, she thinks putting back is a great game! She can prove she understands me, and can copy grown ups. I know this will be a short lived phase, but it is working so well now!

A low table – To put beside your bed so they can eat, draw, play near you.

Get someone understanding to hide all the things you’d rather not be used – I found the first few days, I’d see her whizz past with all sorts in her hands and I couldn’t do anything about it. 3 toothbrushes went missing in days! I also don’t like using plastic for eating or storing, so my sister hid all the emergency back up rarely used plastic from view for me.  



My set up,including a box a toddler delights under the bed. It's so effective!




The lastest scan, the last 3 weeks of my first pregnancy, and the result of it! A healthy bubba!

PDF available:
BEDREST - EVERYTHING YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW!
http://www.scribd.com/fullscreen/56985230?access_key=key-wdnzkzcayzeiune08nv

Bed Rest - I'm not sitting around watching TV and eating boiled lollies!

So, the only reason I have time to do this and look after THE busiest 16 month old, is because I spend 23 ½  hours a day in bed. I'm 'lucky' enough to be given "toilet privileges" which means I'm allowed up to go the toilet and have a quick shower, which probably gets me half an hour out of bed. Other than that, it's bed bed flippin bed.


This is the second time in a year and a half. First time was for 4 months - 2 months hospital on strict bed rest and 2 at home, attempting to get back to normal by completing such strenuous tasks such as making a sandwhich or walking to the letter box. This time is looking like being 13 weeks.


Why do this, when I'm not sick, injured or dying?


I'm merely pregnant - something millions of women get to be and live a normal life. It turns out I have an incompetent cervix (IC), like it failed that subject at school. As my uterus grows and the baby put pressure on the cervix, it softens, shortens and eventually opens.


I found this out the hard way with our first baby when my waters broke at 20 weeks. Babies don't survive that. Sometimes I feel like I barely survived. An infection got in. My temperature was 41° C when the ambulance came, but I know it had been higher. I was gushing blood like I’d cut an artery and it turns out, he was completely covered in Strep B. My body was ejecting him as fast as possible to save itself.


So I had extra scans for the second pregnancy. At 18 weeks my cervix was 27mm (as opposed to an ideal 40mm). I was told to quit work that day and go to bed as much as possible. An internal scan at 20 weeks was more accurate and read 9mm, less than a quarter what it should be. I was sent straight to the doctor who sent me straight to the hospital for a cervical stitch/suture. This was crazy and he’d previously talked me out my request for one, citing risks of labour and infection, and success rates as reason not to. But now, I wasn’t even allow home for a change of clothes and a toothbrush – things I know are nice from my first experience of being rushed to hospital.


So that’s where I stayed for 2 months. The admitting nurse said crazy things like I’d be transferred 500kms away to a major hospital when I was 24 weeks because there’s no use before then as the baby isn’t ‘viable’. And I’d be there till I gave birth. My mind was spinning! It turns out this wasn’t true, and I was to spend the next 2 months in my local hospital at least.


Taking advice from other mothers online, I researched this issue of ‘viable foetus’ further to establish how I felt about it. Turns out that she meant they don’t bother resuscitating as the chances of survival are so slim and the health risks are huge – bleeding on the brain, strokes, detached retinas, cerebral palsy, blindness, lung development. You are forced to make a decision on the spot. So I wanted to be educated on what it meant.


This pregnancy, I had the operation early – 15 weeks (a ‘preventative stitch’ instead of an emergency one). At 18 weeks my cervix was 37mm with an internal scan! Awesome! At 21 weeks it was 21mm... not so awesome and I was sent home to rest as much as possible (sure, with 15 month old). So I spent the days on family’s couches while they looked after my toddler.  An internal scan at 22 weeks showed a 17mm cervix. Man! Things had been going so well dammit. The doctor wanted to consult his superior.


He called me back that after to tell me to drop everything, go to bed and don’t move unless it’s for showers or the bathroom. No making food, doing ANY lifting, walking, even sitting more than a 30° angle. At the time I was locked out of the house with a toddler and had walked down the road to buy an ice block and cool drink. I was wrangling to toddler, a melting ice block, a leaking drink, my purse and the phone..... not the right image for someone who was moments away from strict bed rest.


Up until this point, I’d given up all the ‘normal’ things you can do in pregnancies, particularly once the stitch was in. Walking distances, standing for more than 2 hours at a time, sex, immersing in water, coughing, sneezing and pooing all compromise the ‘competence’ of my cervix. Still, it wasn’t enough.


Prior to this current pregnancy I had really only just started to feel like I'd recovered from the first stint. I was able to surf for an hour, bike ride for half an hour, get up a short trot jogging and even had a snowboarding holiday (which I notice the extreme loss of muscle strength), all things I didn't without thinking before bed rest ever happened. BUT, we wanted a second child, and this is the only way we know how.


Looking after a new born is hard enough, but to do it AFTER 4 months in bed is exhausting. I made up a new term for it S.O.F.T - Sudden Onset Fatigue Trauma... it hit me like a wall! If I cooked dinner for friends or helped my father in law out at his work (why?? did I feel that guilty?) it took me days to recover. An attempt at a slow walk after she was born resulted in collapsed arches of the my feet (called plantar fascia). It feels like your feet and heels are bruised and you have to hobble, strap and ice your feet to cope. The pain lasted for months and months


OK, I don't have cancer or a terminal disease, and the baby was fine in the end. But it could have ended differently, and you never know the ending in this instance until you reach it. Till then, it’s all guessing a hoping and praying. Bed rest for this pregnancy holds no certain guarantee.


My cervix is currently open all the way to the stitch. If it gets 1mm shorter, he wants to send me to the capital city until I’m 34 weeks. I want this baby to as healthy and strong as the first, but lay here silently sometimes just doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough.


I’d read a quote from the husband of a mother on bed rest, so was told over and over again how nice it must be for her to lay down all day. His response was something along the lines of “She’s not at home watching TV and eating boiled lollies you know!”. I think it sums up how I feel perfectly.


http://www.sidelines.org/

Bed Rest 1

Bed Rest 2 - Cuddling the result of Bed Rest 1

PDF on all things bedrest:

BEDREST - EVERYTHING YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW!
http://www.scribd.com/fullscreen/56985230?access_key=key-wdnzkzcayzeiune08nv

Bed Rest - What it is!

What bed rest isn't

A dream come true - even though I'm 'only' laying down, I'm fighting for the life of my baby.


Relaxing - I live in a very real fear that my waters will break any minute, as they did before at 20 weeks and 34 weeks.


Better than being at work/out in the heat/cold/wind/traffic/shops – It’s not better, I'm a human being that’s terrified of moving.


Doing the best thing - I'm risking blood clots, diabetes, loss of bone mass,  loss of muscle and fitness all the while knowing that this doesn’t guarantee success. NASA has done research on bed rest to study the effects of anti gravity on the body in space. Results suggest a number of negative effects on the body. Don’t even ask me about the constipation!


Comfortable – your hips hurt from laying on them and not moving, you sweat under your boobs, you have a constant double chin....lots of food gets caught in it.


Encouraging - it makes you feel sick and helpless like something is TRULY wrong


Just another sacrifice – most people give up wine and soft cheese. I’m giving up being upright.

A chance to catch up on sleep -  sleep isn't a coupon I can cash in in 5 months time when I have been up all night with a new born. It really only effects tomorrow, but the stress and anxiety and loss of physical conditioning negates any rest anyway.

What it is

Happening to me - what anyone says about it isn’t going to change how I feel  counting the seconds of the day, willing the day to pass so you are one day closer to a healthier baby.


The biggest thing that has happened to me – it strange how other life changing events are treated like deaths and relationship break downs? This is huge and scary too!


Something I researched - I probably as much about it as anyone else, I've research, asked dozens of doctors, questioned, gotten answers. I know the risks and outcomes  and I’m not sitting here worrying about nothing.


The only thing we can think off -  when your on bed rest, your out of options.


Terrifying – this equates to being told not to move or my baby will die


Frustrating – it feels passive, like I’m not doing enough. On the other hand, I’m hungry and thirsty and bored and have to wait for everything to be given to me.


Battery hen – don’t they also sit under artificial lights breeding too?


Debilitating – I’m not allow to do most things by myself.


Embarrassing -  I have to ask for everything - food, water, entertainment.


Exhausting – I’m not pumping any blood around my body, I feel sluggish and tired.


Hungry - I am still growing a baby. I ate every 2 hours and my tummy grumbles if I don’t.


Ugly - I seriously have the worst bed hair ever!


No guarantee - statistically there is no greater chance of a 'successful' outcome.


A compromise – saving one baby means I losing the other. I struggle do anything for my hard fought for toddler. I barely feed her and entertain her. All her other needs are met my someone, anyone else.

PDF of bedrest:
BEDREST - EVERYTHING YOU'LL NEED TO KNOW!
http://www.scribd.com/fullscreen/56985230?access_key=key-wdnzkzcayzeiune08nv